Hello Tender-Heart,
Here we are at Friday, once again. This Friday, I have some heavy emotions that I am working through.
I have a loved one in the hospital, and several loved ones who are going through a very difficult time.
I went to visit my loved one this week. I read her stories and wisdom from the book All I Did Was Listen by Rachel Awes.
When I was away from home, I was feeling really stressed. All I wanted to do was paint. : )
GETTING THROUGH CRISIS
In case you might find this helpful, I will share a few things I did to help myself in this crisis situation.
1. One thing I did to make it through was some deep breathing. It's amazing what a few deep breaths can do for you.
2. I shifted my focus to positive things.
3. I expressed gratitude.
4. I read uplifting stories (i.e. Rachel's book mentioned above).
5. I took notes when speaking to the nurses, so that I could effectively communicate the information with other family members.
6. I spoke kind words to people.
7. I asked open-ended questions to keep myself from entering into a cycle of blaming others. I opened my heart. I felt compassion.
8. I listened to others when they shared their feelings, thoughts, and emotions.
AN AHA MOMENT
While I was reading one of the passages from the book above, I read aloud, "I see you." And there I was in the ICU, really seeing my loved one. Sometimes it takes a crisis to finally really see someone and the grief they've been carrying up to this point.
We all are holding grief. All of the losses we've experienced cause us emotional pain. It's okay to feel grief and pain. It's important to forgive yourself. It's important to forgive others. When you forgive others, you are actually giving yourself a gift by letting go of those negative emotions that have been weighing you down. Forgiveness is very powerful. It's also okay to not yet be ready to forgive. It's all part of the journey. Give yourself permission to be where you are, and love yourself through it.
I am not a therapist, so I don't want to go too much further into this. There are many great resources on the art of forgiveness, as well as on processing grief. I will list a few at the end of this post.
As always, if you feel you are unable to process your feelings on your own, please seek professional help from a licensed therapist. If finding a local provider is not working for you, you might consider e-counseling, such as BetterHelp.
PAINTING
I was able to express myself through painting today. It felt great to paint BIG! I got out my big brushes, my children's tempera paints, and a large tablet of paper.
If you don't have large paper, you can always tape together several smaller sheets of paper, or up-cycle some taped together cereal boxes to create your "canvas".
The size of that brush is a 50!!! She's big and beautiful!
I like to use long handled paint brushes to help keep my painting loose, free, and expressive.
Try experimenting with a variety of brushes-round, flat, large, small, but all with long handles. : )
My interpretation of what I painted goes like this:
There is confusion in the stress and struggle of crisis. This is all part of the process. We all have dark times in our lives. To heal from our grief and losses, we need love and support. First, we need to love ourselves and forgive ourselves. This might be an ongoing, daily process of reminding yourself that you are loved, love-able, and worthy of good things.
There is beauty amongst the pain. There are gifts that come from suffering. We are all on a journey. May we find love, peace, and joy in the process.
GRIEF AND FORGIVENESS RESOURCES
The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness, and Peace by Jack Kornfield
The Grief Process: Meditations for Healing by Stephen and Ondrea Levine
Stephen and Ondrea Levine have a great site here.
I also recommend doing a search on SoundsTrue, if you like listening to information.
Hay House Publishing is also another excellent resource with a wealth of material on grief and forgiveness.
A PRAYER FOR YOU
Wherever you are on your journey,
May you be open enough to let in love,
May healing light pour over your entire body, and permeate your cells,
And may your mind give you a break once and awhile,
So that your body and spirit feel renewed energy.
May it be so.
Blessings and Peace to you,
Briana